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An English teacher decided to give his students a project. He asked them to write a sentence containing the words fascinate, sediment and element.
Donna from the front row stood and read... I have conducted an experiment with an element that left a sediment in the Petri dish that would fascinate all who gazed upon it ?
little Bazz from the back of the class stood up to read his... My brother has a shirt that has nine buttons on it. He can only fascinate, at least, I thought that’s what he sediment, but I didn’t know what the element! ???
 

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MY14 Jaguar F Type 3.0S Convertible
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God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and sex if she wanted to get into heaven.

The woman said she would try her best.

God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on.

"Not bad" said the woman. "I've given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get something out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs , pulled up my skirt, puller my knickers to one side And made love to me right there and then ".

"They don't like that in heaven" said God.

The woman replied " they're not too happy about it in LIDL either "
 

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I think that’s their concept fully electric model ????
 

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I can't believe how this crisis has pulled everyone together. I'm just about to have a water fight across the fence in the back garden with my neighbour who's a Spurs fan.....

Just waiting for the kettle to boil.
 

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Norwich City are preparing for the re-start of the football season by revealing their new home kit......

DDD1ABE4-8DED-4414-809F-9556F652E9AA.jpeg
 

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You have to be getting on a bit to understand this one.
 

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