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Hi Sorcerer et al Hope you are all well - I still lurk from time to time, I will have to dig some humour out for Monday nights....... No Evoque any more I'm afraid went back to Mercedes last November.......(bows head and sneeks away) This is still one of the friendliest forums though :wink:

Hi Angel ..... Great to see you back on here - I am not around much on here these days but do have a sneaky nosey in at least once a week just to make sure everyone is behaving.

A man says to the receptionist "When I donate blood, I do not extract it myself, a nurse does it for me." The receptionist replied,"Yes sir, but this is a sperm bank, and it doesn't work that way."

The post office received an open letter to Santa from an elderly lady asking for his help as her purse with £100 in it was stolen and was going to spoil her Christmas,, The post office workers had a whip round and collected £96 for her and sent it off. A week later they got a reply...

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train". Yes, I know it's the six...

Plug

Socket

orderly (Quotidian .... great scrabble word)

Clapham (place in SW London........ :wink:

Shop

Dwarf

Now I thought with BREXIT we would do well this year :D But that is utter crap make no mistake !!

Dive

Wife ! ....... ??? ooops misread that :wink: Shell

Pirelli Scorpion Verde everyday .. I got 42k out of the fronts and the rears still had a lot of life at 55k when it went back in December after four years - no spare wheel and no punctures Company car so it was well driven :wink:

Now on sale at IKEA - LESBIAN beds, no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove... A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related...

Again

Toilet graffiti

Scrap

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony...